Thursday, December 11, 2014

Eve Of The Dreamit Decision

Tomorrow as promised Dreamit Ventures will send a "sorry we did not pick your startup" email, or possible "We are interested enough in you, that we invite you to interview"


As with the agony of struggling with the wait for Y Combinators decision, my mind has also done the same ping ponging game, of yes they like us or no they do not,with Dreamit. 

I have a ton of sadness and pending sorrow in my life right now, that in many ways, the expected decline or surprising yes, really has no effect on me either way. It's like my body is at all time numb horizon with life. I'm existing, and doing life in such a mechanical way that, I'm sort of robot. 



The weirdness of being consumed by grief is that you go on doing, when you don't want to, or think you can. I know my body will make it to the days I can feel feelings again. I know I'm going to bask in the joy when my team and I have made headway into Passdown. When we built our list of rejections, we will be standing, ragidly torn by all the venture capitalist who said no.


Funny thing is, this is the system you must endure. You have to have a freight ship full of rejections, unless you're super lucky and just happen upon all the right situations at the right time. Only a few get that. The rest of us have to beat walk the rejection path, and it's pretty brutal. Thing is, yes we want funding, and yes we want to be in an accelerator, but what we really want is the people to want us. To want our product. How we get to that, is up to me.

I will apply to every accelerator I can, but I cannot think that is the only way, as it's not the way. It's a help to the way. (maybe a distraction to the way) The way is a thousand forks in the road. You go down some with precision testing and others by chance, still others by suggestion. What the hell is a startup? It's a few people who know they can build something that will grow quickly, once it gets going. 

I've applied to Dreamit three times now, but not for the same startup. I suck at answering the questions, but this time Dreamit changed things, in the past I could type a ton of rambling, they cut it short, so you had to sum up your answer. I think I did that this time. Still, haunting thoughts race through my brain, "if I could only explain this more" hmmm. Maybe short and to the point will work for us. I don't know. 

The one thing I know about Passdown is, no one but me knows exactly how cool it is. Yep even my team does not know. They do know enough to recognize the amazement of it. Sometimes I have flashes of the future, and their they are looking at me and saying "WOW, I was skeptical, and hesitant at first, yet I saw something, I just didn't see this, and I thank you for believing in me enough, to bring me along this journey" 


I also wish I knew code, cause I would have it built by now. At least the MVP. I think if Dreamit turns us down that is what I should do, just learn code. I hate having ideas and not being able to build them into something, it's super frustrating. As I know my mind will always have ideas, I should give myself the skills to build them. 

So tomorrow,hmm, be ready for a NO. 


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