The Dream Continues To Torment

Hollowness captures me. I'm empty. I have no startup achievements to boast about. I have nothing exciting to move forward with. My world of hope has been taken from me.

It's a misery I do not want. Sure I could get out of it. I am the one who decides what to do in life....or am I? 

You see no startup is a worthless idea. I am not able to chase mine the way I want to. I have other responsibilities, to people I love. Probably the reason the accelerators ask: "Do you have a family?" Ahhhggg, if I didn't have a family, I wouldn't be building something for humanity. I wouldn't know what humanity was otherwise. 

My plans were to be further along by now. In my trep head, I'm way behind schedule. I turn to my steadfast belief that if the traffic is at a standstill and I cannot make it to my appointment, that, my life was saved. Because if the traffic had been moving, surly I would have been in a fatal accident. Yeah, this is some kind of self motivational sick psychology I play on myself, attempting to justify the truth, that maybe I'm no entrepreneur. If I should be labeled just an "Idea" or just a "dreamer" than that's failure to me. I'm dying inside of myself while I play the life game. This is not who I want to be. Ahhh this torment is tormenting me! I'm like my son's artwork, hovering above my pond, wanting to capture my dream, frozen permanently in chaos of the to do list.

Simon painted this in high school