The Crappy Life Of A Struggling Entrepreneur: Who Cares?

Pretty much it's failure. Have I really become so comfortable with it? Success in any area of my life is always short, happy, and gone quickly. I suppose if I have success someday I will be in shock and die of heart failure.

Right now I'm in my worst season. Summer. I should be happy for the warm days, rain, beautiful flowers and time to go camping, hiking, and dirt bike riding. Yet, summer for me is double my work load. The household chores pile up like the ant hills being built outside by the earths mystery of 'where do they live all winter?

Yeah, I could just let it all go, but that would mean losing money in home ownership. A run down property is less valuable. Not that I want to sell, but hey, I take care of my investments.

I don't know, really right now I'd like to break out in a million curse words. I'd like God to take away my desire to build some startup. I'm not only long shot startup girl, I'm probably the least likely ever to succeed at it. Still, I continue, even when regular life becomes a burden. What am I supposed to be doing? This search to find life's purpose isn't easy. It's painful. I wish God was clear as to what he wants me to do,cause all these roads are dead ends that never end.