OMG, The Police Could Have Killed Me Today

I have written two post tonight and this is my third. I wrote about my trauma today, as being trapped in a active crime zone. I only took one photo during the ordeal. The camera makes the picture look far away, but in reality it's not that far away. So I took the time to blow the photo up and I was surprised as I had thought all the swat team was looking one way and pointing their guns one way. I saw that one person in the middle seemed to be pointing the rifle or AK 47 or whatever cops have at me. Yep directly at me.

Now I do not blame them from doing so, as this is their job. But I was an innocent person trapped into their world. There were no other cars driving around as they had blocked all ways in, as they thought. But they didn't. I came upon the scene thinking it was just some bad car accident, so I turned and decided to take the route I knew to my house, the back way. This lead me right into the active crime zone. Did I know this? No. Did they know I was an innocent person? No. Do I blame them for pointing the high powered gun at me? No. Am I thankful to be alive, Yes. 

I think about the Michael Brown case and all the uproar about his death because of it, and I think of me today, and how easy it would have been for them to kill me, just because of my mistakes or theirs. They didn't know I wasn't the bad guy. They didn't know if the bad guy had took me hostage. I didn't know they were looking for a bad guy, I just thought it was a car accident.

So many things went wrong and went good today. What went wrong was that the police had not blocked off every way into the crime zone. So I wandered in unknowingly. What went right is that they did not shoot me, and they could have easily. I was the only car in there driving around. But I was just trying to get home. I didn't know it was a manhunt for a criminal. I didn't know why I was trapped in their world. When I saw the string of cops with big guns, I knew I was in big deep trouble. I also knew I had done nothing wrong. I also knew if I did not do the right thing, I was dead. If the cops are lining up with big guns walking in a line, oh shit, your fucked. You better think wise and make the correct choice. 

If I had pulled out because the light turned green, I might not be alive. Or I might be injured. I saw them, but they were all looking a certain way.(except the one) I knew they did not see me. I knew if I pulled out they would shoot me. So I didn't. I waited. I waited until I knew they had gotten to where they were going. That was just instinct. I could see they were on a mission, so I let them do it. I wasn't going to turn until I felt I was safe, from them, the cops. Hey, they had the guns, and there were no other random gunmen that I could see, so the cops were my fear, not some ~ on the loose criminal. 

I can tell you,that after today's experience that none of us can know what happens when a cop shoots someone. None of us can know what the exact details are. It's scary that's for sure. The tables could have gone the wrong way for me today. I could be a white woman shot by white cops and no one would have ever heard about it. End of story, Dead.

A mistake, because they could have thought the person in the car was the on the loose gunman they sought. Praise the Lord, I had some common sense and cop pointing the rifle at me did too.

Thank You Startup Gods!

Ahh, as founder I go through all kinds of emotions building a startup.  Probably more than the treps who join me. I have never joined another teams startup, that is my next adventure if Passdown fails. Yep, I have already decided I'm going to help someone else build their fantasy. But that's a ways down the road. For now I have to manage the hoopla for Passdown.

I'm in a very interesting place with Passdown. First, when I made the decision to chase Passdown, it was only to develop a test site to see if people wanted such a service. But that got blown out of the water by the few people I told the vision too, those early adopters. Oh, yeah I still have a test site, and right now it's in a big mess, as I spent the day hacking it up to get rid of all my excessive talking! I'm building the second test site, you know you have to have A/B testing! So I have two test sites to either build or redo. On top of that I am building the Passdown team. Oh, I'm doing so many things, it's crazy.

Today was  beautiful in Denver. It was seventy degrees, and if you look at my last post you will see I went through some trauma, with being trapped in a active crime, police zone. But all the while before that, I was pretty down. My mind was fighting the doubt of Passdown. The naysayers were yelling in my head. The Venture Capitalist were wrinkling their faces and saying you suck! The personal self beating of the mind was taking place along side the crime scene. I wasn't really afraid of getting shot, as I didn't really care at that point. A wild gunman shooting me was like nothing to the crap in my head. Of course I didn't want to be shot by the cops, as that never turns out good. But a wild gunman on the loose is a bit sexier. He can shoot me, but the cops cannot!

Safely home, I wanted to curl up into a cocoon and not come out for six months. Yeah, humbug. I figured out what I need to do to fix my current test site problems. So that gave me some sort of relief from my brains beating down on me. Then I got an email. Wha wha what? Another developer wants to be apart of Passdown! Well Damn! I just asked the startup Gods the other day if they would send me developers who want to work on Passdown and two request have been sent in the same week! Hallelujah!

   

How is that even possible? My 90% profile has been on Cofounderslab for six months now. It's a crappy profile and I don't care to fix it. In the first few months of being on Cofounderslab I reached out to many developers and none of them have ever responded back to me. You see developers in America don't have too, they don't need work. They can get any job they want for top pay. They do not need to work for equity.

We have a shortage of developers in America. To me when none I sought out replied, I felt like dirt. I felt like my idea must be bunk. But now, developers are reaching out to me. Hmmm, something changed, and that was my test site, and of course the Startup Gods, who ever they are. I believe they heard my prayer. I believe, because building a startup is believing in the unknown. It's believing in building something that has a certain idea, but that idea will be shaped and changed along the way. It's believing in an uncertainty as a possibility. 

I was so excited to read this developers email. This person was so excited about my idea. This person could see that Passdown has something truly unique, yet the growth opportunity is not only worldwide, but Passdown finds a market right there in front our faces. 

I cannot be more thankful for this email at a time my mind was butchering me. This beating I take is not new to me. It's my startup minds design. I will always be tormented. Sometimes I wonder if the torment will end if I am successful, but I bet not. I cannot create without the tormentor. Sometimes I wonder how I live with the tormentor, but I always do. It's the someone who replied to my request. It's the Venture Capitalist who said yes, it's the gunman who didn't take my life. It all works out, even though the suffering, can be grueling. 

Trapped In An Active Crime Zone Today

It was a beautiful day in Denver today. A smoking seventy degrees! Whew who! I was out running some errands and I stopped by a pizza joint and picked up some lunch for the crew at home. As I waited for the pizza, a few emergency vehicles flew by.

Heading home with pizza, I saw all the emergency vehicles ahead blocking the main road. So I thought it was an accident. No problem. I turned right to take the back way to my house. Turned out the backway to my house led me right into the middle of the crime zone. They hadn't blocked off every street, and I thought I was just getting around a bad accident. 

So I went one way and nope, I could not exit. The cop cars were placed blocking the exit or the entrance. Hmmm what to do. Oh I know another secret way to get home. So I went after that idea. Nope, again blocked by cop cars. So I turned around and was going to go back the way I got into this mess. Then there they were, the swat team. Or what looked liked to me a string of men, carrying high powered rifles, or ak 47's or shit, I'm fucked. There was no way to turn except in the exact direction of these men, sneaking along side a building, not recognizing that, I'm in my car trying to get the hell out. I watch them cross the street just west of me, with guns pointed. My heart is racing and I can't figure out, how the hell I'm here and not home by now eating pizza. They cross the street and I decide, well I can only go

The View From My Car : - /

one way, so I'm going. 

My plan was to go back the way I got in. But I had to go by them to do this. They spotted me and yelled "Get out of here!" I yelled back "I'm trying to get out of this neighborhood!" They yelled "Go down that alley" oh fuck. Of course that's what my plan was. They just didn't know that with all their roadblocks that I was pretty much trapped in the zone with them.

I got out the way I got in. On the one road they did not block  off. Wow, that was a nerve racking drive around my neighborhood. Sad thing is, I walk this same neighborhood almost everyday with Jenny the dog. I know all these streets and every back way to my house. I just didn't know all those secrets ways, were barricaded with cops.

Don't know if they killed the gunman, arrested the person, or they got away. It's over is all I know, and I didn't get shot.

Update: as I looked at the only pic I took of the scene, I realized that one of them was pointing the gun directly at me. If I had chosen to go on the green light, I could have been shot,but I waited. Light color did not matter to me. What mattered to me was them passing by and me getting by. If I chose to go on the green light (even being I was the only car in the crime zone) maybe he would have took the shot. But I waited until they crossed the street, as I knew I was the only car in the active crime zone. I waited. Maybe fate saved my life? I was a threat. I was me with pizza's. To them, I could be hosting the gunman. I could be dead now. 

Investing In Treps Who Go Into The Scary

Super sad about one of my co-founders getting robbed tonight in his home country, Tunisia. They took his cell and wallet. Thankfully his life is saved. Wael is a brilliant young entrepreneur and the world needs him. He is going to continue to do good for humanity.

Passdown has three founders now. Wael, Jie, and I. Jie is from China. Being tomorrow is the American holiday Thanksgiving, I cannot tell you how thankful I am with these developers wanting to be apart of Passdown. Not only are we three but a fourth developer wants to join. WOW, that's saying something to me. Even though the idea of Passdown could change to be something completely different once we build the mvp and test it. I am so thankful that people want to join me, a crazy entrepreneur who sees beyond the comments that place doubt on the original idea.

I am constantly slung doubt statements regarding Passdown. But you see, building a startup is actually starting with an idea, and the collaboration with others squeezes out the hidden gem. It's sort of like mining. You might be seeking silver in the mountain but you find gold. Or, as most startups end, you find nothing and you are a failed startup. Yet we must always seek.

That is what makes building a startup an adventure into discovery. It's minds seeking. We dig, and we find treasures that we can shape into gifts for people. Be it, the road is ridden with rejection wrapped in kindness, a cruelty of demoralization that leaves the trep wondering if they ought to continue. Yeah, this doubt of others can twist in the entrepreneur's mind into a self doubt that wrenches the soul to the point of insanity. This is why I am always insane. 

Casting doubt on me constantly fucks with my mind. I see something in the far off distance, and three others are interested in seeking into this unknown startup forest with me to find it. Will it be the original idea? Most likely not. It will be what we are to discover together. 

My hope is that all the investors who look at us and judge the idea to be bunk, to please remember that, the idea is the open passageway to the idea no one saw coming. Sometimes all the current ideas on the market are what investors judge us by. I can't blame them for doing so. We do need some kind of criteria to judge a new startup. I think that's why many accelerators say "we invest in people" not the idea.
Truly that is the most solid decision they can make. Investing in that unknown thing I see in the startup forest is kinda risky. But investing in my team and I, well, that is a certain solid business decision. If you see people who are willing to be bashed down into smithereens with doubt slingers, then you have found people who are willing to go into the dark deep scary parts of the discovery forest. People who will ascend into the mine risking oxygen deprivation, risking ever coming out again. If you find entrepreneurs like that, I'd say invest in them. 

A true entrepreneur will always have another idea. Maybe the one you met them on isn't the one, but the next one could be. We will always have a next one. 

My team is going into the forest to find the scary uncertainty. 

Successful Founders Are Insane

I keep this statement taped to the wall in my startup office. It says

"Most successful founders tend to work on ideas that few besides them realize are good. Which is not that far from a description of insanity, till you reach the point where you see results.  Paul Graham"

It's funny how true this is. It explains exactly who I am. Mostly I'm insane. If you went through my startup closest you would find quite a few of these types of ideas of mine. To me the vision is never completely clear, yet it's always more clear to me than anyone else.

Find Us At passdownapp.com

The art of taking your idea and getting others to believe in it enough to join you in your insanity quest is like painting the picture for each person individually and the painting never comes out as an exact duplicate. It's leaving my brain at eleven million milliseconds and entering into the others at a much slower rate. They are processing the idea all the while I'm still adding more paint. Sometimes when I tell someone about Passdown, it strikes me and other pieces to the paintings puzzle is revealed. The person I told doesn't know that. Only I do. Shhh

This is where you get the revelers who express joy in your idea, and the scoffers who just cannot grasp the vision. It's a hard place for us treps to be. At least for me it is. In my last post I had asked the startup Gods to send me developers and for the Broncos to win. In seconds the Bronco's won! But I didn't put much hope into finding developers as they are in high demand. They do not need to work for free, on someones insanity vision. Okay there are no startup Gods, but it's a nice thing to believe in. Exactly twenty four hours later I received my second request answered. Woah! maybe they're really are startup Gods?

A very kind developer stated "This is a good idea" and I want to know more about it. He also offered his extensive developing background. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You see I take delight in the person who see's something in the idea of Passdown. The people who do this, fit into the quote above. They see, and realize something is good. And they want to be apart of it.

Sometimes Things That Do Not Make Sense Are The Best.

Honestly I've seen the vision of Passdown about one hundred years into the future. I've seen humanity using it, talking about it, sharing it, in the future. I've pictured many of the problems Passdown will have to overcome. I've invented code algorithms in my head even though I do not code. I've seen what it will do for humanity in it's most precious form. I've overlooked from the balcony at the ones who will get greedy. Yeah, I'm still in the magical aura of Passdown. Yeah, it's still just an idea. But it growing. It's taking roads where schoffers do not walk. It's riding right up the path to the user soul. And the users will say if it's a go. No one else has any say in it, not even my team. 

Yep, it's the road of uncertainty, lined with users. For now they tell us to build, so we will do that.

My Startup Soul Hurts

I'm not a hard person to work for, or work with. I've been in the workforce since I was twelve years old. I've come to understand the lazy worker, the super worker, and the pathetic worker, and I can work well with all of them.

I've seen the companies I work for hire seemingly great people just to turn around and fire them shortly there after. Judging a good hire is exceptionally hard. Some people can present amazing and turn out to be a pathetic lazy worker, who wants to get paid to do nothing. I'm sure to bet many people who interview horrible and don't get the job, surely were the best one to hire, yet so many companies will never know they passed on the great one, just because they interviewed poorly. 

I've failed at this a few times myself. In my last startup I hired two people who interviewed great, but turned out to be the lazy kind who do not live up to what they presented in the interview. 

Currently I'm struggling with the cofounder issue. Finding a cofounder is a big problem for many startup builders. That's why they have all these co founder dating sites. For six weeks I've been waiting for a cofounderslab meetup. Then days before it was to happen I took ill and could not go to the meeting. You do not know how much this upset me. I need to build a founding team, and I do have two people who say they are in, but  here again I've shared documents that we are to collaborate on and not one scratch of collaboration has occurred from either person. 

All that has occurred is people saying they want to be a part of Passdown and saying they can do this,and they can do that, but in the end, not one thing they say they will do has been done. What am I to think?

This is hard on my startup soul. My mind goes through all kinds of self doubt. I start asking myself questions. Am I asking too much of them? Am I mean or cruel? Am I a bully? What the hell is wrong with me, if I can get people to say yes, but I cannot get them to work?  Am I not good enough at the judging of people and I cannot weed out the ones that say yes, but don't work? Maybe the idea is flawed? Maybe it's a fucking stupid idea? Maybe I'm crazy? Then I think of all the founder dating sites and that reminds me, I'm not the only one with this problem. It's widespread in every workforce, and it's widespread in the startup world too. 

The thing is, if I joined someone elses startup and said I would do this and that, well I'm going to do it. If I'm not happy with the startup, then I'm going to turn in my resignation. I'm not going to say yes and do nothing. In fact sometimes I think I'm going to toss Passdown into the trash and join someone elses startup. I'd be a shining worker, who contributes not only to the growth of the idea but the shaping of it. 

I do not think I'm forcing my idea down anyones throat and making them do it. I just put the basic idea out there, I know the idea will change and morph with others input. That's what building a startup is. It's testing the idea out and pivoting when needed. It's adding to or taking parts of the idea out. It's humans creating something out of nothing. It's the most beautiful and rewarding work anyone can do. 

Would the startup Gods please send me technical cofounders that want to build something and not just say YES and do nothing? That's my prayer, and for the Bronco's to win. *just got the second part of my prayer answered. Thank you startup Gods.

2020's Craigslist Story:CRAP

I scheduled Shark Tank on my cell, so I wouldn't miss watching it, as often I do, being I generally do not watch network television. I watch Netflix and Amazon. It was a great show, and I really liked that they had the GoPro founder Nick Woodman as one of the sharks. I learned a little something to add to my founders knowledge.

After Shark Tank ABC's 2020 show was on. They had a few teasers as to what they were going to have on the show and I decided to watch it instead of heading to my go to platforms. The Bill Cosby segment just made my stomach churn. The Craigslist segment made me angry. Why did 2020 decide they should attack Craigslist? What a biased assault on a startup that has helped millions of people. 2020's point was that Craigslist sells recalled products and those products hurt children and adults.

Is Craigslist selling dangerous products? Nope! People like you and I are selling dangerous products. When we are done using a product that worked for us, we decide to post it on Craigslist. Do we go online and check to see if the product was recalled? Nope! All we know is, that it worked for us, and we no longer need it, so we sell it to someone who does. 

Of course there is risk with anything you purchase at a garage sale, or from Craigslist. Anyone with common sense knows that. The 2020 segment seemed to imply that Craigslist was not using enough protection protocols like Ebay, Amazon and other resellers of used goods. Maybe that is true. Yet when I go on Craigslist I see all kinds of warnings all over the place. I am fully aware that there is risk. I can tell you not one of us who sells something on Craigslist would sell it knowingly if we knew it would hurt someone. 

This is not the first time 2020 has made me angry. You know what they do? If they have a product they want to get in bed with to bolster their ratings they run a raving positive story on it. Many years ago they had some story about a miracle pill. I can't remember the name of this pill, but a year ago I lost a friend because she fell into multi-level marketing scam, all because of the 2020 show. The multi-level marketing company uses the 2020 story to get suckers to buy and sell a pill that does absolutely nothing. Because 2020 had a positive spin on this miracle pill, this company uses that segment over and over to make millions of dollars off of people. They are stealing peoples hard earned money. 

Craigslist is an amazing place that all of us have used over and over for many different reasons. 2020 is a biased show that slants stories in all the wrong directions for their own self seeking sensationalism. I'll be watching Shark Tank but never again sticking around for 2020's stupid crap. Oh yeah, and I'll be using Craigslist, to buy, sell, seek, find and take risk! 

Sick

I do know the key to never, or rarely getting sick, and that would be working out regularly and eating clean. I have not been sick for three years or more. I never even got a cold. Even more important than eating clean is the exercise part, as I did not always maintain the healthiest of diets.

A little over a year ago I had foot surgery. I had developed a bad case of plantar fasciitis. The recovery from it was looooooooooonnnnnnggggggg. I fell into a depression as the healing wasn't going so well and I couldn't do many of the physical things I loved to do. 

Just Before My Foot Problem Started

I'm still having problems with my foot, and this past summer when I was starting to train again, I had a terrible fall while on a run. This tore up my entire right leg from the top of my buttocks to the bottom of my foot, my tendon was messed up. I'm still healing from that mishap. 

Now I'm sick in bed, and I surely would not be here if I had gotten my depressed ass up and starting lifting weights, hitting the bag, push ups, jumping rope, swimming, running, cycling, hiking, anything! Physical fitness is the key to staying sick free. Let me tell you, as soon as I get over this misery I am in now, that's it! I'm hitting the workout life again, I do not care how bad my foot hurts or whatever else hurts. The one thing I hate in all of life is being sick in bed! And none of us need to be sick in bed, just add working out into your life and it works. It worked for me for the past few years. And now I'm living proof, no work out, you get sick. Ugg

Looking For A Trailer Trash Accelerator

I was chatting with my lawyer and he was sorry my team did not get selected for Y Combinator's winter program. I was feeling pretty down about many things going on in my life lately, not just the YC disappointment. I was feeling as if I had lived my life as nothing more than a dreamer who always fails. I big fat failure. Some sort of white trash pathetic loser. Why do I think I can go up against all those other teams filled with brilliant people who know how to spell and write a paper with no grammar mistakes?

To think I would ever have a chance at getting into the number one accelerator in the world, well that's just a false dream of hope in my head. As we chatted I said that no accelerator would ever accept me into their program unless it was a trailer trash accelerator. I have a long list of skills and all of them are about as good, as useless. If any one of them stood out strong enough maybe it could carry me. As you can see, I'm still feeling sorry for myself! I hate falling into self pity, but when your entire life has a closet full of failed startups, among a long list of ofter disappointments, well maybe I'm justified to feel down for a bit.

My team is carrying on with Passdown. We are working on many things, including getting the app built and released. I'm building an alternate website to do A/B testing, I'm also deciding if we should split the company into two. A nonprofit for the data storage side and a for profit for the social network auction side. 

This morning I stopped by Fort Logan National Cemetery to film an info video about

Passdown. It was just a test day. It was a beautiful -4 degrees fahrenheit. The video test gave me some great info. First I recorded the entire thing upside down. That's because I rigged up a car cell phone holder to a pole and when I snapped in my cell, I didn't realize it was upside down. I suppose that's the trailer trash side of me at work. I could use my tripod and camera, but my cell seems to take better photos and videos. 

If you know of any trailer trash accelerators, let me know, I will apply! ; - )

Demons Of Disappointment

The Demons Of

 Disappointment 

Plague My Soul

: - / 

What  Can I Do

To Make

Them

Go?

Workout, Workout, Workout

Get Back The Life I Had

Before The

Surgery

Disc Golf: Ribs Of Life

The rib of trees, built by humans. Super cool shelter on the disc golf course at Dillon, Colorado.

This shelter is amazingly beautiful. It has benches in side of it. As you sit and look up to it's wonder, you are ever captivated by the gifts of man emerged into humanity.

 Stick And Life Of A Man .

This was a super cool tee pee shelter. Be Inspired! I was.We enjoyed it's beauty, it's gift. Hope you are!

That's My Cripple, Saving Passwords

Ever struggled with LastPass? Ugg, I'm an older person who seeks to always stay up on tech. I've been using Lastpass for maybe a year now. Sure it's super great,but I am not a super great user. I swear to God on the Bible that I saved my password correctly. Yet often times it's not the password I saved at all. Is some weird password that I have no idea how it got there. Subsequently I can't login!

Beautiful Dumpsters Decorate The Landscape

What do I do? When I create a password, I always write it down on a sticky. My husband and Greg, (the man who helps me learn Wordpress), cringe, wrinkle and are mystified as to why I would have sticky notes with handwritten passwords. Well, that's because I don't trust Lastpass to save them correctly! That's why!

You do not know how many times I've saved in Lastpass and then later could not get into the site I was working on. It's happened seventy times or more. It's frustrating. I also cannot tell you how lucky I was that I wrote it down on a sticky. If I didn't have the sticky I would be totally screwed. The sticky always saves me. To me it's worth writing it down. How can it hurt to have your password in more places than one?

Tonight my husband explained to me about how Lastpass works. He made it clear that there is an issue with the questions other websites ask. If the website in question ask questions, well Lastpass does not recognize it. Lastpass does not know what to do with it. So when I enter the answers they ask, somehow I would save that as the password and not the actual password that was the original correct password.  If you're feeling confused, believe me, I'm still confused as to why I do not understand how to use Lastpass. I chalk it off as: I'm way older than these young whippersnappers and people who are older comprehend in a different way than the younger people, Certainly that is a generalization, but it's not without truth.

I know people my age who do not use the internet, cell phone or any technology at all. To them it's way too hard to understand so they refuse it. Yet, me, well I do not want to be left behind, I do not want to be like my Mother or Grandmother, and say: "I quit, it's to hard to understand." 

You know they have classes to teach older people how to use the internet. Yet this condition has always applied to all generations. My mother retired when the computer entered her job. She was so terrified of learning how to use a computer that she decided to retire. 

I have vowed that I will always seek new technology,but I will never vow that I will be great at it. I just don't want to be left behind. I want to be apart of the world in all it's amazing  changing gifts of technology, even if those gifts are scary.

I will figure out Lastpass. When I do, I will give up my sticky's. I will work it like a pro, and know in my soul, that I never need to write down the passwords as Lastpass will have finally made sense to me.

Horror Show Living In My Brain As I Sleep

Mark In Arizona 

In the last few weeks I've been having nightmares. Vivid horrible images awake me and I am startled into wondering what's wrong with my brain? 

Last nights nightmare was the worst one yet. I had killed my own brother. I chopped him into pieces and rinsed each piece off in the kitchen sink, as if I was preparing chicken or something. Then I put all the body parts into a large black leaf bag. Every so often I would peek into the bag and I would see my brothers eyes staring at me. In the dream my mother kept asking me "where is Mark?" and I kept telling her I did not know.

Ahhh that is truly a terrible nightmare. 

My brother Mark passed away last spring. This morning I called the Mesa County Coroner's office to find out if the test had came back from the lab as to why he passed away. We don't know why. All we know is his decomposed body was found in his apartment. They said no, the case is still open and pending. : - /

I can't think of any reason why I would have such a dream other than maybe I blame myself for his death, as I missed all the warning signs. I let him isolate himself upon his request to be left alone. 

Some of my other nightmares have been seemingly just as odd to me. Someone was running around shooting people in the head in one dream. Another dream I had a few days ago, green small caterpillars were crawling all over my body. I kept brushing them off, but I couldn't get rid of them. That one was super buggy. 

Who knows why such horror is living in my brain while I sleep. These last few weeks I have been slowing shutting down DigiThin, another failed startup. It's hard. Sad. Another startup skeleton for my closet. 

I'm off to enjoy a weekend getaway in the ever beautiful Rocky Mountains. Hopefully some relaxing in the hot tub and watching people ski down the mountain will clear out my heads horror show. Good bye DigiThin, RIP. Hello Passdown, may you please not meet the same fate!

View From The Hot Tub Awaits Me!

Just Chillen In My Startup Office with Pandora

So many things to do on this startup. The list plays over in my head and chillen is not what I am really doing. I'm not relaxing and hanging back. I'm working for no pay, in hopes that my team and I can build work that will sustain us for years to come.

Ah Darn My Desk Needs A Cleaning

 

I have the music on. Pandora is my favorite. What an incredible startup idea. Pandora is amazing. How I hope my team and I will build amazing for you. 

I use Pandora all the time. In my car, at work, and especially when out walking Jenny.

Jenny Always Happy!

I love picking an artist and making a radio station out of it. Super, super cool human minds, using their imaginations to build this musical gift for us.

Never Know When You Need To Hit A Bag

Pandora sent me an email and said that I listened to 1,229 songs in October. WOW, really? How cool is that? To know how many songs you listened too. I had no idea. That seems like an intensely large amount to me. I am really impressed with Pandora. One can not have enough music in their life, especially startup builders. It so helps me to ease my pain. The struggles we go through emotionally, duly need to be offset by great tunes! If I didn't have Pandora I think I would be depressed. 

Gotta get back to work. Enjoy your life with music! With todays technology we can get an intravenous line into our body, soul and mind. 

Startup Accelerators VS: The Voice

I love watching The Voice. It's incredible beautiful to watch singers take the risk to display their talents; to not only be judged by four judges but the television audience. People everywhere watching them succeed or fail.

As I watch The Voice I can't help but picture each contestant as a single startup applying for a shot at acceptance into an incubator. I witness great singers pick the wrong song, that just doesn't sound so good when they sing it. My ears can hear how great their voice is, and then when the competition sings next, I wither into what I know is coming for the other singer. I suffer the anguish of the impending AXE off the show.

I know this walk. It's my team applying to an accelerator. Oh we are good. It's just that we played the game, and picked the wrong song to sing, as this happens on The Voice.

Shark Tank is sort of The Voice for startups. It's that chance to sing your song, and be pushed into greatness or be slung into the pile of “Nah, not so great”

This is the road us entrepreneurs walk. Often times this rejection, scorn, and judgment can put me into a deep sorrow. I may stay in it for days, but surely this doom teaches me something.

While in the pit, my mind wanders all over the place. I take in all the

discomforts and search for my ladder. What is it that I must learn to get to the place I want to take Passdown? How can I help the team? How can I reach the people? How can we sing our song? Can we make it flawless? Can we take the judgment and shape it into something better than we presented? 


Of course we can.

Every Startup Is A Fantasy

I was just sharing some laughs with my Co-founder Wael. As he eats Salmon Spaghetti dinner in Paris, I prepare to watch the Denver Bronco's in Denver. The American football, played mostly with the hands and not the foot.

Wael and I were exchanging some emails and he said “Ha Ha Ha, so I am chasing your fantasy?” I said “Wael, every startup starts as a fantasy”

Harvard Park Where I Walk Jenny The Dog

You see startups are imagination. Startups are thoughts in a person's head that see a vision. What is a vision? Is it not a fantasy? A thought in the brain of what could be? I know many people equate the word fantasy with that word alone meaning a sex fantasy. Yep, that poor word fantasy has got a bad reputation.

I have fantasized an entire lifetime of Passdown in my head. I've seen every cool thing it can do. I've pictured myself using it, as well as millions using it. I've pictured the bad things as well as the good things Passdown can become. I think because I have a big imagination or a wide open fantasy brainwave, I can think of ideas to build businesses. I can think of solutions to problems.

Poor Wael, he might give up on Passdown if he thinks he is chasing some crazy woman's fantasy. I guess the official job advertisement for Passdown will have to be: Fantasy Chasers Wanted. I don't know, the word fantasy has worked great for the adult industry, hmmm maybe it can work for the startup world? Who knows, video is a great way to go viral. ; - )

I Fantasize That Salmon Spaghetti In Paris Is Pretty
Damn Good Food!