I'm in a very interesting place with Passdown. First, when I made the decision to chase Passdown, it was only to develop a test site to see if people wanted such a service. But that got blown out of the water by the few people I told the vision too, those early adopters. Oh, yeah I still have a test site, and right now it's in a big mess, as I spent the day hacking it up to get rid of all my excessive talking! I'm building the second test site, you know you have to have A/B testing! So I have two test sites to either build or redo. On top of that I am building the Passdown team. Oh, I'm doing so many things, it's crazy.
Today was beautiful in Denver. It was seventy degrees, and if you look at my last post you will see I went through some trauma, with being trapped in a active crime, police zone. But all the while before that, I was pretty down. My mind was fighting the doubt of Passdown. The naysayers were yelling in my head. The Venture Capitalist were wrinkling their faces and saying you suck! The personal self beating of the mind was taking place along side the crime scene. I wasn't really afraid of getting shot, as I didn't really care at that point. A wild gunman shooting me was like nothing to the crap in my head. Of course I didn't want to be shot by the cops, as that never turns out good. But a wild gunman on the loose is a bit sexier. He can shoot me, but the cops cannot!
Safely home, I wanted to curl up into a cocoon and not come out for six months. Yeah, humbug. I figured out what I need to do to fix my current test site problems. So that gave me some sort of relief from my brains beating down on me. Then I got an email. Wha wha what? Another developer wants to be apart of Passdown! Well Damn! I just asked the startup Gods the other day if they would send me developers who want to work on Passdown and two request have been sent in the same week! Hallelujah!
How is that even possible? My 90% profile has been on Cofounderslab for six months now. It's a crappy profile and I don't care to fix it. In the first few months of being on Cofounderslab I reached out to many developers and none of them have ever responded back to me. You see developers in America don't have too, they don't need work. They can get any job they want for top pay. They do not need to work for equity.
We have a shortage of developers in America. To me when none I sought out replied, I felt like dirt. I felt like my idea must be bunk. But now, developers are reaching out to me. Hmmm, something changed, and that was my test site, and of course the Startup Gods, who ever they are. I believe they heard my prayer. I believe, because building a startup is believing in the unknown. It's believing in building something that has a certain idea, but that idea will be shaped and changed along the way. It's believing in an uncertainty as a possibility.
I was so excited to read this developers email. This person was so excited about my idea. This person could see that Passdown has something truly unique, yet the growth opportunity is not only worldwide, but Passdown finds a market right there in front our faces.
I cannot be more thankful for this email at a time my mind was butchering me. This beating I take is not new to me. It's my startup minds design. I will always be tormented. Sometimes I wonder if the torment will end if I am successful, but I bet not. I cannot create without the tormentor. Sometimes I wonder how I live with the tormentor, but I always do. It's the someone who replied to my request. It's the Venture Capitalist who said yes, it's the gunman who didn't take my life. It all works out, even though the suffering, can be grueling.
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