Waiting for the rejection email, is mildly disturbing to my soul. Dreamit has said they will let all teams know if they were a finalist or not today. Accelerators do not call them rejection emails, but all of us startup treps always feel a bit rejected when we find out our team did not make it. It's a grand hope shattered in a millisecond. Then you go on building or pivoting to something else. I've been checking email all day and no rejection email. Y Combinator sent their rejection email really late in the day, so there is still time to get rejected. ; - )
Today I spent the day helping one of our country's young veterans, Cody. I met Cody a few years ago and he did some work on my last startup DigiThin. He also is in my top ten list most popular stories Wrapping Your Head Around The Self Judgement Of Yourself Cody
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| Cody |
served in Afghanistan. Like me he has PTSD. We have helped each other in our quest to not suffer. A few weeks ago he was really down to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was there to talk him out of if. Yes he made it back alive, but he is set to be parentless at the age of twenty six. His mother came down with breast cancer while he was serving and he received leave, to come home and say goodbye to her before she passed. After his four years was up, his dad got brain cancer and as I type this, his dad lays on his deathbed. It's heart breaking.
Cody is struggling to find a job and he mentioned to me he was the most broke he had ever been in his life. I told him, I have a yard full of leaves you can come rake and I'll pay you. He was so happy to get a little work he showed up promptly. But then I told him, we have to go somewhere first. I have to show you something. I took him to Fort Logan National Cemetery. I showed him my dads grave and then Danny Dietz Jr's grave. Danny is one of the four men portrayed in the movie Lone Survivor. My husband and I know Danny's parents.
Danny's grave was beautiful. As every year, since he passed, his mother Cindy has placed a grave blanket made of Evergreen at Christmas time. Cody was inspired in his heart. He said, I've never
been to a cemetery like this, and I'm honored and humbled. I told him, that I always want to help our veterans, and there are a million causes out there to participate in or give money to, but that I just wanted to help one. I told him, that I'm adopting you as the one veteran I help the rest of my life. I said you made it back, and you have to know that means something. I'm your family and as long as I live you can count on me to help when you need help, listen when you need to vent, encourage when you are at your lowest. Laugh with you when life is good.
We returned to my house and Cody began working. It was an extraordinary warm day in Denver for December, sixty seven degrees! All along I would check my email for the Dreamit rejection email. No email all day. As I type this at 4:56 PM Denver time, still no email. I do not know why this bothers me so much. Who waits for a rejection email? I think inside of me I have 1% hope playing. It's sad I ought to have more faith in my team and idea,and I do, but it's hard getting into an accelerator, especially if you do not have traction. When I get the reject email, well, I can then move on in my mind. I won't be stuck in the waiting period. That's all.
I took Cody out to lunch, then filled up his gas tank. WOW gas prices are wonderful! $2.55 for premium and $2.25 for regular. AMAZING! I think it's time for a whole bunch of road trips! Maybe I should visit every national cemetery! I love cemeteries, they are filled will beautiful people. They are not sad to me at all. They are inspiring!
The Travel Of The Ashes
My Uncle Al brought my brothers ashes back from Arizona, and I picked them up from him today. Al had been vacationing for a month down there, and was happy to pick him up and bring him home to us. He was so kind to his ashes, he took the cardboard box they gave him, and put it in another cardboard box and packed it with lots of stuffing as to insure my brother would be stable and not have an upsetting trip back to Colorado. I think it was his way to honor his nephew he hadn't seen in years.
The Life We Had Now In A Tiny Box
I put the box on the seat next to me and drove off. Then I looked over and thought "wow, I've done this before" It was our brother Tim who I picked up almost to the day, fourteen years earlier. Now it was Mark. My beloved almost twin brother. The next thought I had was "The last time Mark sat in that seat in my car, he was a person, now he is in a box, and is ashes" How can you plan such a drive? Do you ever think you will be driving with the person you love, turned into a box with a label on it?
Yeah, that's what life is sometimes.
Of course we're all going to pass, but if you have any sense about yourself, you hope it's when you're good and OLD. When a life is cut short of amazing things to come, it's really excruciating sad.
So I drove home and opened up the box, and I was really upset. They gave him no dignity. There my brother was, in a plastic bag in a cardboard box with a label, as if it was something you would want to purchase.
As my heart broke, I drove directly to my favorite mortuary Bullocks. They had treated my brother Tim with dignity, so I needed their help.
First a very kind young woman was helping my daughter and I, but she had to go, so in walked this very old, tall, kind, man. He must have been in his eighty's. He said he would put the ashes in a plastic urn, as everything they have is order only. He also said he would divide the ashes so that I could have some, and the rest I would give to my brothers son and daughter.
As he was gone, I was looking over all the beautiful urns and the wooden ones stood out.
So when the kind man came back, I said,"Couldn't I just buy this one right now?" and he grabbed it without hesitation and said "Yes, do you want me to put him in it?" Yes, please I said.
He also put a little bit of my brother in three small handheld urns for family members, my daughter had picked out. He did everything possible to help ease my pain, and give my brother more dignity then a plastic bag and cardboard box.
So then I went to pay. The old man said, well I will give the credit card machine a try, but I'm not to good at it. He failed. Then I stood and thought, "oh yeah I have 4 hundred dollar bills at home, I'll go get it." He said okay, and handed me the bag with my brother in all his beautiful containers.
Amazing, gentle, caring, respectful, trusting, kindness he showed me. What a pleasure he was.
I feel better now. Here is the pictures of the cardboard box and new wooden box made out of pine beetle kill trees from the Rocky Mountains.
See my Vine. https://vine.co/digithin It's a really beautiful box.
Keep living your life and building your startups. Keep turning your dreams into reality. We only have one life, so live it! Don't let any down times, take you way down. As a friend wrote in my high school year book."Let all your ups and downs be between the sheets!" Now that's good advice!
Love you
~ Jana
