Startup Porn

Is Anything That Excites You To Build A Great Company

I'm taking the Kauffman Fellows Academy class Venture Deals, this summer.
It's a pretty graphic class. You have to make dirty things like, power points. Study even dirtier things called cap tables, and dive into option pools hoping you won't get diluted.

The truth is, I really did get pretty excited when my mind crossed the decorative lace of spreadsheets, and understood how cap table's work. 

Ahhh, now I could of used this knowledge a few months ago, when the crazy insane entrepreneur in me hit the end of the road for my startup. Yep, the fire in the burn rate oven, burned up all the cash. It's all over. Done. Cooked. All the hard work, and another startup hitting the graveyard. 

After long thinking, I realized that I wasn't done, I was at the part in building a startup called. Finding funding. Of course I had no idea how to seek funding. I also had no knowledge of what was being taught to me in the Venture Deals class. 

But I like my startup porn and I like to get dirty. So I dove in head first into a giant pond called WhisperApp. Yeah, it's saturated with HMU ladies! And all kinds of thirsty sex driven post. Certainly I could find an Angel investor to save my startup from death. What did I have to lose, my startup virginity?

I posted "Startup Launched, Seeking Angel Investors" and within minutes I was talking to two very REAL investors. I was totally fucked! My startup did not get laid, it got its ass kicked! 

The two very kind and knowledgeable Angel investors gave me a few lessons in finding capital. It might be helpful to have more than $84.00 dollars in sales. And one of them told me "I had balls". Yes, I do have balls, they're named "Crazy" and "Insane" they come in useful, when you venture out into the area's you know nothing about. 

I can tell you as I'm in the mist of the Venture Deals class that I am so looking forward to showing these two beautiful Angel investors my cap table spreadsheet. ; - ) Hey, $84 dollars can turn into 84 million, it's just a matter of how dirty you get on your cap table spreadsheets. How many investors you can lure into your startup dreams. How to manage the option pool. Building a strong team, hitting every milestone, yeah, just a matter of a few things. 

So when your startup hits the end of the burn rate road. Use your startup porn and get dirty! Getting multiple term sheets has never been so fun.

*Note to Investors: I have three startups. One launched. Two in the brain. And the two in the brain scale massively compared to DigiThin. I so need to be in an accelerator, before my brain blows up from an overload of startup ideas.

*Note to Entrepreneurs: I do not know if Brad and Jason will teach this class again, or if it will be offered in the fall. If it is I highly recommend it to every startup seeking funding. Get the book.

It's the best kind of VD to get! And take the class!

How Many Startups Have A Founder With PTSD?

My guess is not many.

PTSD is a condition that torments the soul. Or the  mind mostly. But it spreads into the soul of the person and makes life a F****** mess for that person, and the ones they love.

I would never want to admit I have it, cause of course, when the therapist said I had it, I said "That's for people in a war zone, you're so fucking wrong to label me with that!" Oh yeah, it's people who have to witness a murder, people who have to point the weapon and kill a teenager, it's for people who are tortured by others, oh that's me...... Tortured by others.

After my therapist told me point blank you have PTSD, I did not believe it truly for few more years. But I started looking at the shell of its idea. Really? Did some situation in life mess me up that bad? That makes me really angry. How could I have this problem? I'm normal for the most part, how the hell can someone's brutality to me, F*** me up so much? This makes no sense. I didn't go through the cruelty of a war zone. I did not have to hear the bullets buzz by my head, bombs go off nearby, and the threat of my life ending every second while on patrol. I did not get tortured that way.

I fully understand what it is. It's an evil root in one's soul, placed there by circumstance, or other human beings. Yep, that's it. Yet try to root it out of yourself and you're a failure. It's a poison that destroys the mind,and spreads into your system wreaking havoc of every relationship in your life. 

Yeah, It's A Very Horrible Burden To Carry Around.

Oh, gulp, well, we don't want her as our founder. She's a messed up person! Yeah, you do! Cause I'm the one who see's what you cannot see. I'm the one who feels what you cannot feel. I'm the one who's trouble is actually a gift. I'm the one, who's going to cross the boundary where others will shy away. I'm the one, who's going to conquer PTSD. I'm the one who's going to build the startups, cause, well, there is nothing else to do in life, but to build something great for others. 

I don't have the answer as to why some of us get PTSD, but I think it's because of the circumstance and that we are the people who FEEL. We are the people who care about others more than ourselves. 

How Can You Get Over Your PTSD? 

First, you have to recognize it. That was a big problem for me. I can't say exactly how to get over it. For me, my PTSD is a problem with triggers and repeating thoughts. I hate the repeating thoughts. They are useless to me. All they do is, repeat in my head, over and over, year after year. If the triggers to them are present, then the thoughts repeat constantly. If the trigger's, are seldom, it makes it easy on me, the thoughts stop or slow down and I can actually be free to be me. Oh, the freedom from, repeating thoughts of the torture, that's the day I desire. But this is not an easy problem to get over. For the military person, every thunderstorm is torture, every loud bang! How do we live our lives free of the triggers?  For me, I'm trying to get the triggers out of my life, but it's not really possible. How does a military person make a thunderstorm stop? Were sorta fucked with this problem. Yep. How do we get over PTSD? I'm not sure, but I'm going to keep trying to find the answer. If I don't, the repeating thoughts will destroy me. 

We May Have PTSD, But We Can Still Function In Society

I can still show up to my job with a smile. I can still create my ideas. I can still go to school, I can still be a mom. I can still build startups, I just can't get close to people. I cannot trust. And I can't free myself from the repeating thoughts. It's like having a bleeding cut inside the body. An endless flow of pain. It really sucks. We're still humans' and most of us with it can still function I society. So please don't ostracize us. We are very lovable. : - ) But don't expect a close relationship. You'll have to work for that.

The Last Sentence Of Death In A Startup

Besides the fact that you will fail a few hundred times everyday for an undetermined amount of days, months or years, when building your startup. You are also going to die an emotional death every time you have a business disagreement with some company or some person you have are doing business with.

This has happend to me a few times. Each time I have learned to hold off, don't hit send!, Don't say anything or do anything until your emotions cool off! 

Yeah, I held off for 5 days recently, and still I blew it. I had someone read my email to make sure I had stripped it of emotion. I presented my position on the disagreement with what I thought was a "business professional" manner. Still, I blew it. I fucked up. 

After my email was cleared by a third party outside of the business, I had to add one more sentence. Yep. That's the sentence that killed me. But to me when I read it, it really wasn't much. It wasn't offensive, contained no fowl language and clearly to me, I wasn't attempting to stab a steak knife into the person. 

Why did I add the last sentence? I was trying to open the person's mind up to a bigger market then they could see. Simple as that. But that person could not see my intention and thought the last sentence was some kind of blow to the jawbone. 

It's frustrating as hell at times communicating to people whom you need to help your business, as well as they need you to help theirs. It's probably even worse, that I have a sixth grade level of grammar to use as my communication device. 

I know I am extremely different than probably most, business professionals, because I've never been one. But I've been a human being, my whole life. I do not set out to hurt people. Yet, when I do, it hurts me deeply. It torments my soul, makes me feel like I died, or wish that I would.  

All I want to do is good business. All I want to do is build my ideas. I need people to help me do that. When I screw up the people part, it breaks me.

My advice, leave out the last sentence of death ~

Startup Stress Compounded by Death

When my twin brother was found dead in his apartment this past March my stress level went into some kind of G force, swirling tornado. Every stress I have in life is now heightened by his death, and the still waiting for the coroner's decision as to why he passed away.

I'll be doing homework or Startup work, and the thought of him dashes through my brain. Followed by "You never get to hang out with him again" thoughts. My heart sinks down a notch, while I try to gather myself and continue to work.

I don't know why, but my stress level is at an all time high. It's caused my PTSD to flare up with an intensity not to be matched with fire. An inferno of anger, sorrow, mixed with the desire to make it all stop. 

I just really need a vacation from my mind and soul. But those two are with me no matter where I go.   My Brother Mark

Giants In The Startup World and Lucky Girl

I used to be the most unlucky person in the world. Getting the shaft, just made me fall into self-pity and self-doubt all the more. Being beat down by bullies only smeared gobs of pain upon my pain. 

One day I decided to change. I started doing things I would never do. Like work out and eat healthy. One day I decided that every lie in my head had to go. Yet, rooting out those lies is so much harder than pulling a weed from the yard. The roots of negative are strong and a nuisance to one's soul. 

Yet I have been determined to not waste my life on useless thoughts, that only hurt me and others. I wanted to become the person I'd always known I was, but I had no self-esteem to become that person who helps others. A strong person, a confident person, maybe not as bright as the genius, but a person who could hang with them, because, after all, I sort of have their handicap. 

I don't know what kindness cloud has fallen on me, but lately Giants in the startup world are taking notice of me. Yet I don't want them to notice me, I want them to notice my ideas. I seek to make humanity shine. And maybe teach people whom are bullied not to retaliate in a negative way, like Columbine. My retaliation is going to be positive. If bullies hurt me, then I will work extra hard to make someones elses life special. If bullies beat down my heart, then I will work extra hard to find people I can bless with love. If bullies destroy my dreams, I will work extra hard to build new dreams.  

For some unknown reason, some people get picked on more then others. It never makes any sense, to purposely hurt another human being with dished out humanity killing cruelty. 

If I could end bullying ~ That's what I would do. And maybe building startups is how I will do it. 

For now I am lucky girl. Standing in the shadows, Leary, as if who?  Could any of these people I'm crossing paths with, be a bully? Will they come on sweet then change to cruel? Who can I trust? NO ONE. Not even the Giants of the startup world. Yet, I want to, I want to believe kindness coming on is true, and it won't turn into a nightmare that rips me into pieces of discarded trash. 

Yeah, I'm lucky girl............................

Bugs

:-/

: - (

I hope it's a bug.

Setup To Meet Maynard : - )

After I left my sister's house today, I was driving home and something inside me told me to turn and go to that great big liquor store that I seldom go to. I had past the street to turn to it on, but I made a U turn and headed back instead of heading home.

So I had this mission to get Maynards wine, also known as Merkin and Cadeuses. And btw Maynard is the singer for Tool and A Perfect Circle. 

So I wandered around looking for his wine. Maynard is in love with wine and wine production. He has wine grove in Arizona that crosses the boarder into New Mexico. He has a new crop hitting the market right now.

After about five minutes of wandering around the store, a clerk walked up to me and asked if I needed help finding a wine. I said yes, I'm looking for Maynard. He knew right away and lead me to the area, and then he says, "well Maynard was just here a few hours ago. What? I asked in excitement. He said "Maynard was there to do wine tasting with them of his new line.

Yeah, I could understand that. Yet, as I talked to this fellow, I kept thinking I have no idea what Maynard looks like as when I saw him in concert, he sings, but has no spotlight on him, he pretty much sings in the dark. I had bought Perfect Circle and Tool on digital so I have no pics of them and I never did a search on them. So here is this fellow and I'm getting the feeling that something is amiss. Oh sure Maynard was here earlier, maybe he was lying to me to get me to buy expensive wine. Or maybe he was Maynard. I kept feeling like something was out of wack. Really would he use the lie that Maynard was just in the store hours before? Would he use that to get me to purchase the wine? Little did he know that I was going to buy Maynards wine no matter what, because I had to replace a bottle I drank one night while being angry at my husband. 

Later I talked to my son about the experience and well, it's a 60% chance that it was Maynard, and a 40% chance that it was just some schlep telling lies to get me to buy a product.

Why would Maynard do this? Well, I have seen other celebrities jump into sales positions like I saw, Lindsay Vaughn sell tickets in the Vail ski area booth. So it's not an impossibility that it happened. But what's the meaning anyway? Who cares? Is he going to help my startup? Is buying one bottle of his wine going to make me a better person? Is it going to help him sell more? There really is no benefit as to the status of a person selling anything, unless they are going to join you in the quest to make humanity better. 

If I become a person of well to do, I'm going to search for the human beings in the world who will make the world better and I'm going to invest in them. And I will celebrate with them with Maynards wine! 

If I met you tonight Maynard ~ You were very kind and helpful. Work with me in the future, we shall toast your wine to the people who overcome hardship lives to make a change that helps others!

You do make great wine! 

~ jana  always on the side of AMAZING 

Running Is The Toothbrush That Cleans The Tartar Off My Brain

After almost two years without being able to run, and for a long time not being able to stand on my feet for more than an hour. I was slowly becoming disabled by a really bad case of plantar fasciitis. 95% of people with this condition can get over it with physical therapy and corrective orthotics. I fell into the 5% group who needed surgery.

I choose not to go with the traditional surgery of cutting the plantar fascia as you would cut a slit in a rubber band but not go all the way through. Instead, I chose Topaz which used radio frequency to burn the fascia. I had 28 holes punctured into my heel with a needle, and then the radio frequency wire was inserted into each hole burning the facia for 4 seconds each. 

Rehab, and time, it worked, I finally healed my heel. Yet I was paralyzed with fear, I couldn't run or do any exercises. I had been cleared by my doctor, I could work out, and run. Yet the fear of ending up with a two year struggle of pain had me frozen. I was terrified, I didn't want to go back to misery. I was stuck. Then I read a Brad Feld's post: I've Been Afraid To Run He went through a horrible episode of not being able to run to his full potential and not being able to breath after the run. His situation seemed life threatening to me, and super scary. Mine was just two years of a pain in the ass, that was slowly crippling me. After he was cleared by his doctor, he got back out there even though he had been afraid to run. For some reason his story broke the hold fear had on me. I got off my computer and went on my first walk/run. 

The past eleven months have been an extremely tough year for me, both physically, but even more so mentally. Today when I was on my run it started to happen. The cobwebs, clutter, self-pity, negative, self-centered, bullshit in my brain started to dissipate. Oh yeah, that's why I love to run. It's the one exercise that seems to clean my brain. Running is the toothbrush that cleans the tartar off my brain. 

Running has given me mental clarity. It clears out the crap, and opens up the doors of creativity in my mind. I like the side effect of making my heart and lungs and my whole body stronger and healthier, but it's the benefit it gives my mind that I have dearly missed these past two years. It's truly great to be back out there. 

3 Reason's I'm A Crazy Entrepreneur

Oh, I am so dead. I'm going to get my ass kicked in the Venture Deals class I'm taking this summer with Brad Feld and Jason Mendelson at Kauffman Fellows Academy. I was pretty sure I was going to find crazy treps like me. It's kinda turning out, like I'm the crazyiest one of the 298 students.  Here I am going over all the student profiles and everyone seems pretty darn NORMAL, and so professional. Not me. Here is a list of my reasons.

1. When filling out the personal info and bio page, normal people put professional sounding statements, like I worked at Google, Twitter, and Facebook. I however put: "My employers have been many, some boring, some repetitious, some inspiring, some hard labor, most all social, some shocking, some disappointing and for me to list them would cause a person to think of me differently than I really am". Okay, I didn't want to put, I wipe ass for a living. That doesn't make me look so professional.
2. List your academic institutions. Normal people put, University of Oklahoma, Harvard, University of Texas etc. I put:“I've been to almost every college in the Denver metro area, every decade of my life and never graduated” What good would it do me to list all of them, if I never completed? I went to college, I learned some things. 
3. When people put bio information down, they keep it simple and hardly reveal a thing about themselves. Crazy people write all kinds of info, making themselves look crazier. Okay, I went in and deleted my whole entire rambling bio and put this:
    

   Bio

   I am crazy.

   I get things done.

   The math part will be hard for me.

   I have a sense of humor.

   If you want more bio info on me, you can check out my blog Long Shot Start Up Girl 

   
   

   Here is my favorite pic of myself

   

Our assignment this week is to start or join a team. I started a team. I kind of think, no one is going to join my team. I think I'm way crazier than all these fine students. Ahhh well, I can't take that part out of me, it's what makes me, me. It's what fuels my creativity, my ability to see things others cannot. It's what drives me to build startups. But yeah, when I see how all the people fill out the profiles in a professional way, and mine is completely the opposite, well the thought I should be locked up crosses my mind. ; - )

Mistakes Make A Startup:Trep Wear and Gary Vaynerchuk!

Oh Man, do I ever hate that I make mistakes. Hmmm, this is so frustrating for me building startups, because I make mistakes everyday all day long! It's not that I think making a mistake is really bad. Or that, I think making a mistake is like I'm not perfect enough. It's that in all the jobs I've had in my life, I learn the job, I make mistakes often, but then I master the job and I make mistakes rarely. 

Rarley Is The Key Word

On the startup road, such mistakes are an often occurrence that it kills me. I'm used to working for someone else and getting over the mistake period pretty quickly. In a startup, well, there is no mistake period! Mistakes are going to be everyday, all day long, for some undetermined amount of time. You can't escape it no matter what. You can't master it as fast as working for a long established company, no you can't. 

I want to do a good job. I want to be the best at my job. So making mistakes are such hardship's on my soul. I want them to end quickly. I want the occasional mistake to be my norm.

If You Are Building A Startup, Mistakes Are The Brick Road

I don't know why mistakes can make me feel like such a loser or a fool. But they do. I think that's why I hate making them. Yet building a startup has taught me that a mistake is another brick in your startup road. You pave the road, then you can walk further. There is no other way around it. 

My Silly Mistake Tonight

It was a small mistake, yet it really was an offensive mistake to me. How could I? How could I misspell the name of one of my most beloved mentor in the startup world? I've told myself a million times, "Don't mispronounce his name and whatever you do, DON'T misspell it" I added the c to Vaynerchuk! Oh damn, this hurts my company. There is no c in CHUK. I told myself this a million times, and still, I did it. I typed up the Tweet and sent it. Then I read what I wrote and as a tiny infraction as some may think it is, I thought it was rude, and not respectful to my mentor, one of the many who teach me how to be an entrepreneur. Damn. 

Sorry Mr.

Mr. Gary Vaynerchuk, please forgive me. I'm a tiny person in the startup world. You and many others teach me, and I can't be grateful enough for all of you. Yeah, I'm gonna make a million more mistakes, some of them small, some of them big, and some of them the kind that seems no one can recover from, (those are the ones I dread) yet we all make that super big mistake. The one we think we can't recover from. But we can, can't we? There is never anything we can do that deserves the punishment of SILENCE or DEATH. Unless of course you commit a serious crime, and that deserves prison. Our mistakes, are not crimes, they are the bricks we have to place along the road, the startup road we build.

Trep Wear 

The whole thing started because I saw this new startup getting ready to launch. @trepwear They have a super awesome idea. I did not gather enough information to tell you all about them, but I think they make T-shirts and other items that reflect startups, Treps, certain startups, and some of the cash they make on the items will be given to that startup, in the honor to help that startup raise funds to help them build great companies. Companies that will impact our world and lives. Yeah, that is a SMOKING IDEA. I love Trep Wear. And I hope you will too. : - )

The T-Shirt I Want From Trep Wear

The T-shirt I want Trep Wear  to print, says: "Gary Vaynerchuk said, I had Balls" Yeah, that's right. It's a true story. He did tell me that. But he also totally kicked my ass and told me all the things I failed at, all the MISTAKES I made. Of course he was right. He told me off, but the one compliment he gave me is "I can tell you one thing, you have balls" Well, to me that is a very high compliment. I'd like to think I do have balls. I'm not giving up. I'm creating more and more startups and I will never stop. I will write with 6th grade grammar, speak like I'm a stoner, come off like a complete idiot, but I have balls! I'll talk to any VC, Angel or person who will listen to my ideas to make the world better, your life better, the life of someone at risk better. 

I call my blog Long Shot Start Up Girl for two reasons. #1 I'm always looked at as a longshot or passed over. #2 The longshot pay off is....................?

So many turn away. It's the rejection that used to hurt me that now gives me BALLS. 

Thank you Mr. Gary Vaynerchuk!    

Vay.ner.chuk

: - )

Building Multiple Startups At The Same Time

The gift my father gave me is something that may be slipping from our culture. I don't think I've ever mentioned the idea to my own children, and I'm not sure it was or is learned in school each generation like they do a playground song or game "ring around the rosy" "Simon says".

It's the belief in "The American Dream". The idea of you can do anything and be anything you want in America. The dream is filled with hope, and the thoughts of success are here for everyone, and anyone. Yeah, my dad, he loved "the American dream, " he was filled with it, overflowed with it, but he never chased it. 

He was a sightseer of the American Dream. Every time he saw someone inventing some great idea he would point it out to me. "Can you believe someone made a million dollars from that?" he would say to me. I remember growing up in school, the American dream was there too. Us kids always dreaming about how it would be ours one day. It was one of the greatest fantasy's of childhood.

Now I'm Building Multiple Startups At The Same Time

Yep, I can't help it, my dad's gift to me became an infection in my soul that spread into my brain. For some reason or another I'm producing a bit of a surplus. Darn it! It's getting a little bit hard. 

I can't not chase them. I can't just write down some notes on one and say, oh when I'm done pushing DigiThin, to someplace better, then I will work on the next one. No, it doesn't work like that in my brain. If the brain wants them out, I have to do something about them now. 

EavesdropApp has been bugging my head for a few months. It's getting mad at me because I haven't gotten too far with it. Ugh, okay, I'm working on it!

My new one has been swirling in my head about two weeks now. I couldn't really pin it down. A whisper of a thought shot out, but the idea was almost like it wasn't really formed enough to even be a thought. It was more like I could feel it, but not be able to think it. As it spun around my brain it picked up a little piece of information from all the data in my head, and spit out another piece to me last night. 

"Ahhh, you mother f*****, there you are!" the swirling thought drops into my lap, and I have another baby startup to build. Who put this startup slot machine in my head; and it keeps landing on three "Build Me Now" matching tiles? 

Hmmm : - ) this is the part of The American Dream that's not part of the dream. It's the part you only get to experience if you chase The American Dream, if you decide to no longer be a sightseer. 

Happy Fathers Day Dad. I love you!

Facebook Could Save My Startup

Amongst all the whining and worrying about Facebooks new algorithm; I signed up to do Facebooks 30 day advertising program.

Now I really did not get a taste of Facebooks old algorithm, as I only entered the market recently. So I have no idea what everyone is complaining about? Oh yeah, no organic growth. Or very little. 

I have experienced this on many other networks, it's not just Facebook. Organic growth is going to be a thing of the past, because all these social networks that are virtually free, need to make money. You can't blame them, that's what you are trying to do too. Make money, grow your business. 

I Have No Problem Paying For Advertising.

It's only been 10 days on the Facebook program and I am seeing some hope that my startup might just make it. In fact Facebook could save it from being tossed in the pile of failed startups. 

The data and feedback I am getting from my target audience is beautiful. The people I'm working with at Facebook are brilliant. They are teaching me how to do, this new kind of marketing, read the anyalitics and understand them. 

I am seeing my target audience validate my ideas. They truly like them. I put a bunch of stock photos on and a few photos that I took myself, and the people like the ones I took, my photo's soared to the number one and two spots. This makes me happy! I beat out Shutterstock photos! I don't know what' going to happen as time goes on with the Facebook program, but I'm really excited to walk out of the world of a stuck startup, and into the world of a successful startup. 

Here are my two photos. DigiThin is a weight loss product so the reason for these photos, is that there is Clean food and Dirty food. Clean food always wins! The headphones are because DigiThin is Mp3 weight loss coaching. This was a set up for a bowling Vine I attempted to make. Of course dirty food gets flattened!

Eat Clean Be Happy

How To Hire According To Johnny's Glock Shop

I was frustrated with a few things about my startup, and decided that I needed to get out of myself, my business, and help another startup. So I searched Craigslist and came across this beautiful job offer. I really can relate, maybe you can too or will someday.

Losers please don't apply: - I bet you're thinking. . .Did they just say that??

Kick ass Job with a FUN Company

You're looking for a job; you respond to tons of ads hoping for a response. It's hard to tell if ads are authentic, or just a scam. So we are trying a different approach in hopes of catching the eyes of the folks who think and work like us. This will sound blunt, and you may even have a negative response and want to hate email us, and that's ok, but just know that you probably wouldn't fit into our culture if you have that reaction. So here it comes, honesty at its finest, and folks who want these same qualities in their colleagues will find it with us!

We are a different kind of Internet Company: 
We live, die, hire, fire, promote, and celebrate folks based on our 4 CORE VALUES.
1. Get shit done
2. Make mom and dad proud
3. Show up
4. Tell the truth

We love this industry and our customers, and want to work with people that feel the same way.

This is what we care about. . .
That you show up. . .that's right. When you apply and we call you, call us back. If we schedule an interview, show up for the interview. If you say you're going to do something. . .JUST DO IT. These are the kind of folks we want to apply. If you cannot do these simple things. . .you may be a loser, and probably shouldn't apply. It really does start there; just do what you say and so will we. 

Now that the hard part is out of the way, and we've hopefully scared off the flakes who don't want to work. Here is the info you need:

Requirements for the Job
• Show up for everything you start (you knew we were going to say that)
• E-commerce experience- selling products online
• Website development and or Website maintenance with Shopify
• Experience selling on eBay and Amazon.com
• Computer skill, Microsoft Office, Word, Excel, and Outlook
• A gigantic SMILE 

Who are we?
We are Johnny's Glock Shop. An E-commerce company that sell parts, accessories and clothing for Glock handguns. We are a startup company and looking for someone to help get this venture off the ground. We are also developing another site in a different industry. More about that latter. We run our business with the golden rule: take care of our team, take care of our customers and the rest will take care of itself.

What will you be doing?
You will be adding and maintain product listings on eBay and amazon.com. You must know how to do this. You will also be maintaining and developing web sites through Shopify's web platform. Daily processing of orders and customer support, mostly through email will fill your day.

I almost forgot, you will be required to be yourself and let your individual personality shine. If you decide to get up and do the twist because you feel it's the right thing to do at the time. . .were ok with that.

Work Schedule
Hiring for one Part time position, but can turn into a full time position if the fit is correct. . .and you're a rock star.

Work schedule
Monday-Friday 

After all of the scary stuff, you'll be happy to know that we are actually a super fun company! We reward our awesome staff with bonuses, lunch cards, free breakfasts, and even BBQ's on Fridays! We work hard and play hard! So thanks for your time and we wish you the best, whether it's with us or another company.
Have we offended you with these questions or this ad and are you going to write in to tell us that our approach to business is unprofessional and not funny? If so please click here. http://jobs.walmart.com

If you like our approach and culture and want to be part of a team that really cares about their cause (loving on customers), please follow the instructions below.
Please type your Favorite Movie in the email subject line in all CAPS. Yes, we want to see if you follow specific directions. We know that 60% of people won't do this because they didn't take the time to read the ad and following directions. Yes. . .this is test 
To Apply-very important
Send your resume to johnerbert@gmail.com Please don't respond to this craigslist email. . .again another test. Write a paragraph or two on why we should pick you and why your favorite move is the best ever. Please be as detailed as possible. We will follow up quickly with a phone call. I promises!

If you're interested in working with us and follow the directions, and we will call you. . .Period. If you took the time to fill it out. I'll take the time to call you back.

WE LOVE OUR JOB!

Why I Love This Job Posting
I really loved this Craigslist job posting because I've had a taste of just that, hiring losers! They usually come disguised with a smile and a mouth full of bullshit. Yet I've never had to hire a person in my life. I have no experience doing so. I'm also a super honest person, who is reliable, dependable and when I say I'm going to do something, I do it, usually with a dose of my added in philosophy, "do more than I"m paid for" "Go beyond what is expected and be exceptional!" So obviously my first mistake was to think that pretty much everyone is a good worker and honest like I am. The truth is, people actually like to lie about that and say they are a good worker just to get hired. People like to say they are going to show up, do some great things for the company, but they soon fizzle out into lazy, worthless, time wasters who somehow wanted to get paid to be a loser!

Call me naive, stupid, and too trusting. Yet I'm going to have to learn how to spot these types. Not sure exactly how to do it. They are experts, con artist, liars, scumbags, and I find that I want to have hope in them. I want to believe they told me the truth. 

I sought out to volunteer at someone else's startup, to find my faith in humanity again. After being taken advantage of few times, I'm feeling pretty discouraged that the sheep in wolves clothes are going to show up again. I'd rather clone myself then have to deal with losers again. 

Ahh the shocking lessons I learn building my startup. Sad at times. Thanks to Johnny's Glock Shop for making me smile and know, I'm not the only one who has experienced these types. I'm starting to feel better. 

BoulderWin: My Selfie Story With Brad Feld

Wow, what a great start to summer 2014! Going to #boulderwin was maybe my open door to a year without injury, surgery, rehab, death of my beloved twin brother, entrepreneur depression, and startup struggles.

I think for sure this is it. No more sorrow, no more pain, no more injuries to my body, no more worries about building a possible failed startup. Yeah, it's boulderwin a special little gift given to those of us who live, breath and understand what building startups is all about. Its success, but not in the form of gaining a well padded bank account.(allthough that's nice) Its success in the form of how many lives are changed for the better because of what your startup built.

Tonight I saw so many shining stars. Every face who had come to #boulderwin had the face of the gift on it. We had come to celebrate the uniting of Twitter with GNIP (pronounced GaNIP) btw, it's ping backwards, the name thought up by Brad Feld, as what GNIP does is essentially a backwards ping! Well, it's more then that. It's super amazing what GNIP does. In a sense to me what they do is Data Research Mining. They take all the Tweets, all the Pinterest, Tumblr, Foursquare, Wordpress, and countless other networks and they absorb it all. They take everything you and I have posted and do amazing things with that data. I'm new to knowing about GNIP, but I don't think it's data mining to know what you shop for, so they can tell a company how to advertise to you, but that could be a part of it. I am pretty sure GNIP is more about what we cannot see. I think they are about taking all the info in and searching for the diamonds of who we are and what we say and do. The amazing things about us humans. I think they are so open to all the data about us, that they will discover things that can be created to help us. Gifts to make our lives better. Gifts to ease the suffering of humanity. 

Ahhh it came out a little grainy, but that's me and Mr. Brad Feld in our selfie! He was so kind when I asked him "Can I get a selfie with you, Mr. Feld?" Oh yes, he said. Brad Feld is the kind of person in real life I thought he would be. Super kind, super down to earth, super cool, yeah I was nervous asking him to do a selfie with me, only because he is one of my many mentors. When I read his blog, I am always blown away by his level of intelligence. It makes me almost feel like I am some backwards person lost in third grade, and maybe I am, but he didn't make me feel like that in real life.

I don't know Mr. Feld but everything I've read about him and every word I've read that he has written tells me, he is the true gift to the startup world. Even more than that he is a gift to our world. He surely blesses every life he comes into contact with, and as with me he blesses so many lives from his blog and other social networks. He probably doesn't even know how many people he has helped, but really the numbers are all on his face in this selfie. Look at his smile, that's for you, yes you, all the people he has blessed, and all the people in the future he will bless. His smile for you! 

#boulderwin, well, I think it was a win for more than Boulder, Colorado. It was a win for the world! We will all be blessed by it. And hey, if you have a super difficult year in life like I have. Just tell yourself the new hashtag word for changing things for the better, it's #boulderwin. That's the word you use when you decide you're in need of things to change and life to be better. Just say I need a 

#boulderwin

; - )

More Pics

 

 

 

 And A Big Thank You to GNIP and Twitter and The Foundry Group for throwing a great start to a Beautiful Summer.
It was such a FUN party!