Startup Stress Compounded by Death

When my twin brother was found dead in his apartment this past March my stress level went into some kind of G force, swirling tornado. Every stress I have in life is now heightened by his death, and the still waiting for the coroner's decision as to why he passed away.

I'll be doing homework or Startup work, and the thought of him dashes through my brain. Followed by "You never get to hang out with him again" thoughts. My heart sinks down a notch, while I try to gather myself and continue to work.

I don't know why, but my stress level is at an all time high. It's caused my PTSD to flare up with an intensity not to be matched with fire. An inferno of anger, sorrow, mixed with the desire to make it all stop. 

I just really need a vacation from my mind and soul. But those two are with me no matter where I go.   My Brother Mark