Will Y Combinator Accept Me Into Their Beautiful Program?

November 1^st 2013 – The EVE of the Answer

So tomorrow is D day. The day I find out if I get accepted into Y Combinator. My mind has done nothing but play tricks on me, as to if I was going to get in to there beautiful program.

For the first few weeks, I would go back and forth each day. One day I would be 99% sure I was going, then the next day I'd be the exact opposite in the mind. It was torturing me. I kept trying to keep my mind off of it. Yet it was always in my mind, teasing me with with hope, then teasing me with sorrow.

I told myself I can not be upset or down if they don't accept me. I'm a long shot, an underdog, and worst of all I'm a lone founder. No incubators like those.

Yet, it's haunted me since Friday September 13^th when I hit submit.

Y Combinator has been my mentor all through my build of DigiThin all by myself. Professor Graham has given me the courage to stay on the path, in spite of all the difficulties, stress and the “it's too much for one person to do.”

I had no choice, I only had me to change my life, so I had to do the build alone, I had to chase my idea, I had take risk after risk, I had to be beaten to failure, because I knew what Professor Graham was telling me was the life I wanted – oh I so am an entrepreneur – I am finally me!

So this is the eve night of my D day. What will it be? Will they accept me? I think not because they never asked me any questions. But then I think yes, because I know they watched my video, as awful as it was, they watched it.

Have they not asked me questions because I was completely understandable and they had none for me?

Or did they judge me on that horrible video I had to make? Or was my idea beaten out by just too many other great ones?

Still my mind is torturing me. Yes I want into their program. I belong there. Why? Because I'm an anomaly. I'm the surprise they were looking for, I'm the blessing they need.

Then I think about the answer to the question of “How have you hacked the system to your benefit?” Well, I knew I hack the system everyday, so to me, that's an everyday occurrence, so everyday hacks are insignificant, and unremembered to me. So I could not think of an answer for two days.

Then the answer I thought of, well, I think it was pretty cool. I did that hack when I was 12 years old. And then after I put that on my application, I re-visited that time in my life and had to ask myself, “Why would I help the boy who had raped me?” Why would I want to help him get back into the concert?

There was only one answer – I did it because I needed the answer to a question that would be asked of me 40 years later. So I stood there watering the neighbors lawn and smiled, because that to me meant I was supposed to be in Y Combinator. That to me was FATE showing itself clear and in plane view. I was in awe.

Still here I am, suffering torture, will I get in, or have I just been fooling myself for the last seven weeks? Will my fate really be, that I'm still on my own, beating the path to build a great company. Do I have to keep standing up for myself all alone? Well, if so I'm okay with that, because that is what I have been doing all along, and I know how to do that.

But could I use those Y Combinator arms around me? Oh yeah.

*Note: This was written almost a year ago, it's not for the startup my team is applying for this year (2014) I could delete this post, but I do not, as this is my life path, my truth. This post has been on my blogs top ten list since I posted it. Just want you to know it's for my last startup, not my new one Passdown.