The startup I'm building is always on some path, that seems at times as if, I'm not really creating it myself. It's crazies running wild in my head. The startup seems to have it's own mind and desires. It's as if, it's an alien that invaded my body, and it must use me to become what it wants.
I used to feel like my startup was an alien egg inside my brain. That alien egg, bugged me to death to build it.
I remember when the idea was conceived, and the first three months, I would tell that alien, "NO WAY I'm not building you" I told that swirling thought to leave me alone, I was done with ideas. I'd spent too many years chasing them, just to see them fizzle out into the pile of failures. I didn't need another failure, and I told it, I'm done! I'm going to do what all the rest of the people do, get a real job and work at it for the rest of my life!
I Signed Up For School, Yet Again.
After all I couldn't break my record of going to college every decade of my life, could I?
She Walked In.
My teacher, who was also the head of the health and fitness program I was in. I sat there and looked around for the hidden camera's. This must be a set up to see if we judge, I thought. She must be wearing a fat suit, and they are recording our reaction to the sight that stood before us. We were in the fitness and personal training program and the head of it was OBESE?
Well I wasn't thin or even close to my goal weight myself, but how could the head of the department of health and fitness be obese? This made no sense to me. It was like an alcoholic talking to A.A. members and preaching sobriety, then going home and getting drunk. After two weeks I could not take it any longer. I realized there were no cameras and it wasn't a set up.
So The Swirling Alien Egg In My Brain Had Made It's Point.
It won. I dropped out of school and started building the startup that I had refused to build. I knew why she was obese. I had the answer to why so may people struggle to lose weight and keep it off. But I didn't want to build it, because I was tired of failures. But that damn alien had won!
Now I'm Wandering Around The World The Alien Created.
This startup path has never stopped. It's morphed into one thing after the next. One problem turned into a choice to go this way or do that to fix it. It's lead me across the paths of many wonderful people. And the alien egg is so happy that it has hatched. Oh it could not be more happy to be given the chance to live. Even if that means torture to me.
I Have To Raise The Baby Monster.
Here I am, raising a baby monster. Hitting walls, roadblocks, and finding my way around them so I can take the baby where it wants to go. Some days I really feel like I'm just the guardian for the monster. I'm just the vessel it chose. There is nothing I can do now but keep going with it. The funny thing is, there are so many moments that I stand in AWE, because there I am on the next level of the build and all the pieces of it seem to be in perfect harmony. The people who are helping me at the time seem to be exactly the people in the aliens plan. The vision of the monster opens up a crack more, and I can see where it's going with that nagging it bugged me with the first three months.
The Path
It couldn't be a more beautiful, frustrating path, overflowing with more knowledge then I could have ever learned in college. The best part of it, always is the people I meet on the path. Everyone of them have been the most interesting unique people I have ever met.
Success? I don't worry about it to much. Because I know my job is to stay on the path, and the monster will take me there and more. I hope you will be on my path, because I'd truly love to meet you. : - )
Like Evan Williams said "Listen To What Keeps Nagging You"
I read an article and I'm pretty sure it was Evan Williams the co-founder of Twitter who said the above statement. The monster did nag me, and I had to tell it to fuck off. But it finally made it's point to me and I started building. I don't know how successful DigiThin will be, but it seems to be on a path that feels ever so right. And as I've said in my article When Do You Call Your Startup A Failure? the answer is if you don't quit, it's never.
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