Tormented By My Start Up Idea

Tormented By My Start Up Idea

Yeah, here I am, two years into my start up idea and, I've made a ton of mistakes. Yet, the idea has come out of my head and become a real product for sale. How the hell am I going to sell it? I'm not a salesman, I'm a creator, an inventor, an entrepreneur.

I'm on the path, following what I call the monster in my head. Yeah, that monster, the one who nagged me continually for three months to develop DigiThin. I told that nag, to shut up, I'm not doing it. Instead I signed up for college and I was going to be a cardiac rehab specialist/personal trainer. That's what I was really going to do.

There I sat in class, and the head of the health and fitness department, whom also taught at least half the classes I was taking, walked in. She was, obese. Not pudgy, not slightly over weight, she was obese.

For two weeks I listened to her talk about health and fitness while slugging down a giant gas station pop, and snacking. I kept thinking, well surly she is going to announce, that she used to be 580 pounds and now at 300 she's doing great. The confession I wanted never came.

I knew exactly why someone with all the knowledge in the world about health and fitness was obese. I had the answer to the weight loss dilemma swirling around in my head for the last three months. Yeah, the monster start up idea. I dropped out school and started developing DigiThin.

Oh and I really hate the monster in me. You know why? It makes me do things that put me into situations where I have to be rejected, scrutinized to the point of humiliation, judged and criticized. It's horrible!

Like the other day, I had to go meet with a man who worked at Microsoft for many years. There was no doubt he was intelligent and knew way more then me about products and business. Why did I go to meet him? Well the monster in my head wants me to do the idea, but it does not give me all the answers. I have to seek out help.

What happened at the meeting? I got my ass kicked. Oh yeah, here was another person who could not see my idea clearly. Another person who thought I was a complete idiot. Another rejection. Another misery I had to go through to please the monster in my head. It's a tormenting of my soul, I do hate it, but I can not stop.

You know when you are onto an idea that constantly nags you, you have to do something about it. At least I do. I am continually baffled as to why I put myself though this start up suffering. I have to take these beatings to my ego and learn from them. It's hard. At times I'd like to just curl up, and die.

I do not know if DigiThin is going to be another start up failure. Until the monster in my head says, okay give up, quit, stop chasing that idea, it's done. Until that day, I have to keep working on it. I have to keep being tormented by my start up idea.