I was frustrated with a few things about my startup, and decided that I needed to get out of myself, my business, and help another startup. So I searched Craigslist and came across this beautiful job offer. I really can relate, maybe you can too or will someday.
Losers please don't apply: - I bet you're thinking. . .Did they just say that??
Kick ass Job with a FUN Company
You're looking for a job; you respond to tons of ads hoping for a response. It's hard to tell if ads are authentic, or just a scam. So we are trying a different approach in hopes of catching the eyes of the folks who think and work like us. This will sound blunt, and you may even have a negative response and want to hate email us, and that's ok, but just know that you probably wouldn't fit into our culture if you have that reaction. So here it comes, honesty at its finest, and folks who want these same qualities in their colleagues will find it with us!
We are a different kind of Internet Company:
We live, die, hire, fire, promote, and celebrate folks based on our 4 CORE VALUES.
1. Get shit done
2. Make mom and dad proud
3. Show up
4. Tell the truth
We love this industry and our customers, and want to work with people that feel the same way.
This is what we care about. . .
That you show up. . .that's right. When you apply and we call you, call us back. If we schedule an interview, show up for the interview. If you say you're going to do something. . .JUST DO IT. These are the kind of folks we want to apply. If you cannot do these simple things. . .you may be a loser, and probably shouldn't apply. It really does start there; just do what you say and so will we.
Now that the hard part is out of the way, and we've hopefully scared off the flakes who don't want to work. Here is the info you need:
Requirements for the Job
• Show up for everything you start (you knew we were going to say that)
• E-commerce experience- selling products online
• Website development and or Website maintenance with Shopify
• Experience selling on eBay and Amazon.com
• Computer skill, Microsoft Office, Word, Excel, and Outlook
• A gigantic SMILE
Who are we?
We are Johnny's Glock Shop. An E-commerce company that sell parts, accessories and clothing for Glock handguns. We are a startup company and looking for someone to help get this venture off the ground. We are also developing another site in a different industry. More about that latter. We run our business with the golden rule: take care of our team, take care of our customers and the rest will take care of itself.
What will you be doing?
You will be adding and maintain product listings on eBay and amazon.com. You must know how to do this. You will also be maintaining and developing web sites through Shopify's web platform. Daily processing of orders and customer support, mostly through email will fill your day.
I almost forgot, you will be required to be yourself and let your individual personality shine. If you decide to get up and do the twist because you feel it's the right thing to do at the time. . .were ok with that.
Work Schedule
Hiring for one Part time position, but can turn into a full time position if the fit is correct. . .and you're a rock star.
Work schedule
Monday-Friday
After all of the scary stuff, you'll be happy to know that we are actually a super fun company! We reward our awesome staff with bonuses, lunch cards, free breakfasts, and even BBQ's on Fridays! We work hard and play hard! So thanks for your time and we wish you the best, whether it's with us or another company.
Have we offended you with these questions or this ad and are you going to write in to tell us that our approach to business is unprofessional and not funny? If so please click here. http://jobs.walmart.com
If you like our approach and culture and want to be part of a team that really cares about their cause (loving on customers), please follow the instructions below.
Please type your Favorite Movie in the email subject line in all CAPS. Yes, we want to see if you follow specific directions. We know that 60% of people won't do this because they didn't take the time to read the ad and following directions. Yes. . .this is test
To Apply-very important
Send your resume to johnerbert@gmail.com Please don't respond to this craigslist email. . .again another test. Write a paragraph or two on why we should pick you and why your favorite move is the best ever. Please be as detailed as possible. We will follow up quickly with a phone call. I promises!
If you're interested in working with us and follow the directions, and we will call you. . .Period. If you took the time to fill it out. I'll take the time to call you back.
WE LOVE OUR JOB!
Why I Love This Job Posting
I really loved this Craigslist job posting because I've had a taste of just that, hiring losers! They usually come disguised with a smile and a mouth full of bullshit. Yet I've never had to hire a person in my life. I have no experience doing so. I'm also a super honest person, who is reliable, dependable and when I say I'm going to do something, I do it, usually with a dose of my added in philosophy, "do more than I"m paid for" "Go beyond what is expected and be exceptional!" So obviously my first mistake was to think that pretty much everyone is a good worker and honest like I am. The truth is, people actually like to lie about that and say they are a good worker just to get hired. People like to say they are going to show up, do some great things for the company, but they soon fizzle out into lazy, worthless, time wasters who somehow wanted to get paid to be a loser!
Call me naive, stupid, and too trusting. Yet I'm going to have to learn how to spot these types. Not sure exactly how to do it. They are experts, con artist, liars, scumbags, and I find that I want to have hope in them. I want to believe they told me the truth.
I sought out to volunteer at someone else's startup, to find my faith in humanity again. After being taken advantage of few times, I'm feeling pretty discouraged that the sheep in wolves clothes are going to show up again. I'd rather clone myself then have to deal with losers again.
Ahh the shocking lessons I learn building my startup. Sad at times. Thanks to Johnny's Glock Shop for making me smile and know, I'm not the only one who has experienced these types. I'm starting to feel better.
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